in which I make a startling discovery

When people write ffs on the internet, it stands for for fucks sake.

OHMYGOD.

My worldview has suddenly shifted.

This is like that time I figured out that SOB stood for Son Of a Bitch.

an excerpt of sorts

Patrick stared down silently at the book in his hands before looking up at Peter and then back down at the book. "... you read homoerotic novels?" He said finally, when nothing else could come to mind.

"Please focus on the actual issue here." Peter said blandly.

"That's not the issue?"